Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions.
*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.
Hey, I like to go sleep too!
2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment?
(YES) NO What do you see as that purpose?
*3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay?
Practically every college student because of their lack of sleep.
4. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this the appropriate audience for the subject?
Everyone who sleeps a lot, and yes, it’s the appropriate audience for the subject.
5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth.
a. I want to go sleep now. Napping sounds great about now. From the tone
b. It’s like a bedtime story at times.
*6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here.
Ever since college, people have been finding more time to nap than anything else.
Is the thesis specific enough? (YES) NO If not, make suggestions for narrowing the focus.
*7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay. YES TO ALL
Par. 1 YES NO Par. 5 YES NO
Par. 2 YES NO Par. 6 YES NO
Par. 3 YES NO Par. 7 YES NO
Par. 4 YES NO Par. 8 YES NO
*8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment:
Yes, she has covered a variety of students, including people in our class.
*9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below.
a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? (YES) NO SOMEWHAT
Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject:
b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant?
(YES) NO UNSURE If not, explain here:
c. Is the information understandable to you? (YES) NO Comment:
d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? (YES) NO
List terms that need to be defined here:
10. In which paragraphs would you like to see more information (facts and examples)?
Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Why?
1
*11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile.
a. What person or persons were interviewed?
College students were interviewed.
b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information.
Due to the fact that college students get a lot of work, losing sleep to get it back by napping is very common.
c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.)
d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly?
Yes.
12. Does the introduction
a. Get readers’ attention? (YES) NO
b. Present the thesis? (YES) NO
c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? (YES) NO
d. Comments:
13. Does the conclusion
a. Remind you of what has been said? (YES) NO
b Provide something new to think about? (YES) NO
c. Round the essay off smoothly? (YES) NO
d. Comments:
Philip On said,
March 27, 2008 at 9:27 am
Written Peer Response
Essay writer’s name_______Philip On________ Peer’s name_______Lourdes Alexis_____
Instructions: Respond to the asterisked items first. If you have time, respond to the rest in numerical order. Do not confer with the writer when answering the questions.
*1. What were your reactions when first reading this draft? List some of them here.
Hey, I like to go sleep too!
2. Does the essay have a purpose beyond fulfilling the requirements of the assignment?
(YES) NO What do you see as that purpose?
*3. Who would be interested in the profile provided in this essay?
Practically every college student because of their lack of sleep.
4. To what audience is the essay directed, and is this the appropriate audience for the subject?
Everyone who sleeps a lot, and yes, it’s the appropriate audience for the subject.
5. List two examples that show how this essay appeals to the needs of this audience. Refer to specific tone, word choice, details included, format, and so forth.
a. I want to go sleep now. Napping sounds great about now. From the tone
b. It’s like a bedtime story at times.
*6. What is the essay’s main point or thesis? Write the thesis sentence down here.
Ever since college, people have been finding more time to nap than anything else.
Is the thesis specific enough? (YES) NO If not, make suggestions for narrowing the focus.
*7. Reread each paragraph, noting whether it is related to the thesis of the essay. YES TO ALL
Par. 1 YES NO Par. 5 YES NO
Par. 2 YES NO Par. 6 YES NO
Par. 3 YES NO Par. 7 YES NO
Par. 4 YES NO Par. 8 YES NO
*8. Has the writer sufficiently covered of the topic, discussing the who, what, where, when, how, and why of the profile? Comment:
Yes, she has covered a variety of students, including people in our class.
*9. Comment on the relevance and effectiveness of the information conveyed below.
a. Are the essay’s facts interesting? (YES) NO SOMEWHAT
Please note any facts you found uninteresting or off the subject:
b. Does the essay make clear why all the information is significant?
(YES) NO UNSURE If not, explain here:
c. Is the information understandable to you? (YES) NO Comment:
d. Is the language clear, with technical terms defined? (YES) NO
List terms that need to be defined here:
10. In which paragraphs would you like to see more information (facts and examples)?
Par. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Why?
1
*11. Comment on the handling of the sources of the profile.
a. What person or persons were interviewed?
College students were interviewed.
b. Explain what makes the person interviewed an appropriate source of information.
Due to the fact that college students get a lot of work, losing sleep to get it back by napping is very common.
c. What other sources of information are used? (List them.)
d. Are quotations, facts, and paraphrases attributed and documented clearly and correctly?
Yes.
12. Does the introduction
a. Get readers’ attention? (YES) NO
b. Present the thesis? (YES) NO
c. Introduce readers to the essay’s perspective? (YES) NO
d. Comments:
13. Does the conclusion
a. Remind you of what has been said? (YES) NO
b Provide something new to think about? (YES) NO
c. Round the essay off smoothly? (YES) NO
d. Comments: